I just had to take a stab at writing a side-fic in Lady Yate-xel’s S.W.A.N. universe. All credit for this batch of insanity goes to her. Please forgive me!

Title: Sleep

Author: JonesStarr ←gawd it’s been a while since I’ve written that!

Rating: Fairly innocent.

Pairing: almost Nny/Edgar

Archive?: Cherry Doom I guess

Synopsis: Edgar is sleeping over with Johnny as usual, but tonight Johnny just can’t get to sleep. So Edgar decided to try an old remedy to help his friend get some rest. <Takes place after Edgar’s first night with Johnny. >

      Sleep

      It was just another evening at Johnny’s house. Room. Office. Whatever. Edgar still didn’t know what to call it. Weekdays they normally stayed in the school; weekends and days when the choir room was in use were spent at Edgar’s. For about a week after that first night Johnny would sleep in the classroom and Edgar would sleep in his beanbag chair in the office. But one evening Johnny stormed in and declared (in a voice loud enough to startle Edgar out of a dead sleep) that there was “no way in hell he was giving up his own damn bed” and went to sleep in a chair not too far from Edgar. Once Edgar’s heart rate had retuned to normal from Johnny’s outburst, he too fell back asleep; confused but happy that his friend was going to be even closer by.

      After that first night Edgar usually had little trouble sleeping. He’d learned how to contain his excitement at just being with someone else constantly (too many lifetimes spent alone) and he managed to sleep well more often than not. That beanbag chair was really comfortable actually. Especially after Johnny had helped him splice it with some additional fabric and stuffing Tenna had stolen from her Home Economics class to make it larger and softer.

      Tonight, however, Johnny was making just a bit too much noise. Well he was making a lot more than ‘a bit too much’. The sound of chairs lightly scraping the floor and mumbled swears floated from the choir classroom into the office and into Edgar’s ears. After about an hour and half of futilely chasing sleep with Johnny ‘trying’ to be quiet while restlessly shuffling about the room, Edgar dragged his tired body through the door and decided to see what was up.

      “Nng… Nny, what’s wrong?” Edgar asked around a yawn. He was so articulate when he was exhausted.

      Johnny looked up from a few chairs and desks he’d turned upside-down in an effort to create a fort around himself and shrugged. “Nothing.” he replied.

      Edgar wasn’t buying it. One: Johnny never had a problem being quiet when he wanted to. Two, well, Edgar had a second reason but it flew right out of his head as easily as it had come. Sleepiness did not a happy Edgar make.

      “Bull. Why aren’t you sleeping?”

      “I’m not tired.” Another shrug.

      Edgar yawned again and noticed with amusement that Johnny was trying desperately to stifle a yawn of his own. Johnny pretended to be interested in his fort again while Edgar just continued to stare. Another screech from metal moving against the floor and Edgar winced.

      “You want to tell me why you’re trying to keep me up with you then? Or am I just going to have to sleep in here with you and the chairs?”

      Johnny sighed. “I don’t want to fall asleep.” He dragged a finger across the underside of the desk.

      Edgar blinked in surprise. Johnny must really be tired if he gave in to Edgar’s questioning so easily. What could be keeping Johnny awake then?

      “Nightmares?” he asked.

      “No, not exactly. Just...” Johnny tugged at some thread that had gotten tangled in the foot of the chair. “I just don’t want to sleep.”

      “Hn. Well, I want to sleep. And you need to sleep, so why don’t you come in here and let me help you get some rest?”

      Johnny looked up from his chair-fort suspiciously. “And how do you plan on helping me sleep, exactly?”

      Edgar yawned again and rubbed his face. Johnny still thought he was going to turn out like Jimmy.

      “Nny, I’m not going to molest you in your sleep. Just come in here so we can get some rest.” He took a few steps toward Johnny who glared at him for a second before sighing and getting up.

      “Fine. Let’s see what you can do.”

      “I can dance a little dance for you.” Edgar sang.

      “Shut up.”

      Edgar shook his head with a smile as his friend tried to look anything but exhausted and eager for some rest. Edgar chuckled to himself and followed Johnny through the door.

      Johnny had his arms crossed and was standing in the middle of the room, waiting to see what Edgar had in mind. Edgar walked past him, flopped into the worn beanbag chair, and held his arms out to Johnny. Johnny gave him a bewildered look and shifted his weight slightly from one foot to another.

      “What are you doing?” he asked.

      Edgar sighed. “Come here Nny, I’m not going to hurt you or anything. I’ll keep an eye on you while you sleep. Promise. I’ve done this before.”

      Johnny still looked uncertain. “It can’t be comfortable.”

Edgar smiled. “You’d be surprised. Come; sit down. This chair is more than big enough and I’m plenty soft.” He poked himself for emphasis.

      Johnny rubbed his arm nervously.

      Edgar watched Johnny shift his weight some more, left to right to left to right, until Johnny had an almost perfect swaying rhythm going. Edgar’s smile became sad. Johnny was so tired he was going to rock himself to sleep standing up. How was it that Edgar hadn’t noticed this earlier? Johnny had to have been missing out on sleep for more than just this night to be that tired. Edgar frowned and rocked forward in the chair, reaching out and grabbing the hem of Johnny’s shirt and tugging on it firmly as he fell back.

      Johnny startled out of his trance and stumbled forward, almost falling the rest of the way toward Edgar and his chair. “Hey!” he protested.

      Edgar ignored him and rotated the thinner teen around so Johnny’s abck was towards him. “Sit, Nny.” he said.

      Johnny crossed his arms and Edgar could almost see the defiant glare he was sure his friend was wearing. With yet another sigh to add to the others he had made that evening, Edgar again shifted his weight forward and this time grabbed Johnny by the hips and tugged him firmly into his lap.

      Johnny froze, his body stiffening and his arms reaching out to grab the sides of the beanbag chair in an attempt to avoid falling completely. But of course this being a beanbag chair, (and a worn out one at that) all he managed to do was sink his arms into the chair and slightly slow his fall so he didn’t crush Edgar. Johnny panicked when he finally stopped and was resting against Edgar’s body; still half-expecting obscene things to start happening to him. The thinner teen struggled to get up and made small sounds of protest when he was unable to do so. Edgar just wrapped his arms around Johnny and held him relatively still until he could get him to calm down.

      “Are you going to relax or not? Because I’d really like to get some sleep tonight.” Edgar asked quietly.

      Johnny wanted to struggle free, but Edgar had a firm grip on him and the chair prevented Johnny from getting any sort of leverage. He really didn’t have the energy to fight back though. Thus defeated, he made a sound not unlike a growl and shifted around to find a comfortable position. He finally ended up more or less laying against Edgar with his legs over the side of the beanbag chair and his head resting on his friend’s chest. This isn’t going to help. he thought to himself. This is stupid. I don’t want to start dreaming again. This feels weird…

      With Johnny finally situated Edgar reached around the chair and grabbed the blanket that was lying on the floor. He draped it over them to keep away the chill and put his glasses on the desk behind them. He draped his arms loosely around Johnny again and settled in to sleep.

      “But what if you fall asleep too?” Johnny asked, tilting his head so he could look Edgar in the eyes.

      “Hopefully I will.” Edgar replied. Johnny rested his head back down on Edgar’s chest.

      “But what if I start dreaming?” Johnny frowned. How can he help me if he’s asleep too?

      “I’ll be here. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

      Johnny played with the hem of his shirt for a moment before he spoke again.

      “Did I-, did we do this often?” he asked.

      Edgar stayed quiet for a moment and Johnny waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts.

      “Yes and no. You had- he had-, more of an aversion to sleep than you do now. Your nightmares were a lot worse and you resisted sleep as long as you could for other reasons too. But your body could only last so long without sleep so when you finally had to give in, this is- was- how you’d sleep. I mean he would. You know. We’d sleep like this.” He finished awkwardly.

      Johnny finally let himself yawn, his warm breath blowing down Edgar’s shirt and across his skin, causing the other man to sigh slightly. If Johnny noticed he didn’t say anything. Both were quiet for a few minutes and Edgar felt himself drifting off when Johnny shifted again and pulled his arms up from his lap to lay them against Edgar’s chest.

      “Do you think-, did I-, did it help?” he asked.

      “I like to think so.” Edgar yawned again. “You slept longer and longer each time and when you woke up it took less and less time for you to…” Edgar bit his lip.

      Johnny pressed his face into Edgar’s neck. “’Less and less time to’ what, Edgar? What did I do when I woke up?”

      Edgar turned his head so Johnny’s hair was right under his nose. Heh, it tickles in exactly the same way. He wondered whether that was a thing with hair in general or just something unique to Johnny. He inhaled deeply and thought about how now the young man in his arms lacked the persistent smell of blood and death from his past lives and instead smelled like dust from the choir room and some sort of cheap shampoo he’d stolen from a convenience store. Yet there was something distinctly ‘Johnny’ underneath it all that was exactly the same. It wasn’t bad either. He smelled kind of nice.

      “Your nightmares were a lot worse.” He didn’t even bother correcting himself this time. “When you’d wake up, you-, sometimes you didn’t know who I was and it took you a minute or two for you to calm down. But you did start to recognize me quicker and quicker each time we slept like this.” Edgar left the parts out about the choking, the cuts he received from knives not stopped in time, the bruises on his arms, his face…

      Johnny stayed with his face against Edgar’s neck. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

      “Go to sleep Nny.”

      Johnny sighed and relaxed. Within a few minutes the two were sound asleep.

      --

      Edgar awoke sometime later to Johnny struggling in his arms. Worried he was having a nightmare, Edgar held onto Johnny a little tighter and made little ‘shushing’ noises in an attempt to be comforting. He was, needless to say, surprised when Johnny laughed.

      “Hey. I’m just trying to get up so I can go to the bathroom Edgar.”

      Edgar blinked in sleepy confusion before letting Johnny go.

      “Oh.”

      Johnny got up and Edgar grunted when the smaller teen elbowed him.

      “Sorry.”

      “’S ok. Hey wait for me. Where’s the flashlight?” Edgar started to get out of the chair.

      Johnny turned around and frowned. “I’m just going to take a leak Edgar. I’m not running away.”

      “I know that Nny. But I have to go too now that you’re not cutting off all feeling to my lower half and I can actually tell.” Edgar rocked himself forward with enough force he thought would get him out of the chair, only to fall face-first on the floor when his left leg failed to support his weight. “Shit!”

      Johnny laughed and offered his hand to his fallen friend. Edgar grimaced from his place on the floor but without his glasses didn’t see the proffered hand. Johnny stepped around the struggling Edgar and plucked his glasses off the table behind the chair. He knelt down and offered them to Edgar. “Here.” he said. “I’ve got your glasses.”

      Edgar pushed himself onto his knees and groped the air for his glasses. He touched Johnny’s arm and lightly trailed his fingers along to his hand to where his glasses were. Johnny frowned and tried to concentrate on the weird tickling sensation the touch provoked. Edgar took the glasses delicately and slipped the fames onto his face while struggling to get up, supporting most of his weight against the desk behind the chair.

      “Ow.”

      Johnny smiled. “Sorry.” he said, not feeling all that sorry about his friend’s predicament.

      Edgar made a face. “Nnghh! Ah! Ow, fuck that feels weird!” he shook his leg and tried to get rid of the pins and needles sensation shooting up his leg. “Ugh! Gross!”

      Johnny shook his head at Edgar’s dance of pain and headed out the door. He really had to pee!

      Edgar tentatively put some weight on his leg. The pins and needles didn’t go away, but at least he wasn’t falling over. He groped in the dimly lit room for the flashlight he was dependant on despite Johnny’s attempts at getting him to do otherwise. He found it, switched it on, and followed Johnny out the door. Johnny went down the hall to the right, and Edgar made a left.

      “Hey,” Johnny called out. “restrooms are this way Edgar!”

      “I know that.” he called back. “But the water fountain down that hall doesn’t work and I’m thirsty.”

      “Oh yeah.” Johnny had forgotten about that. He shrugged and continued on his way while Edgar went opposite.

      Edgar made it to the men’s room down the hall without incident, though his leg still didn’t feel quite right. He did what he had come to do, washed his hands, and dried them off with some paper towels. He noticed that he was still tired, but not all that sleepy. He looked out the double doors at the end of the hall while he got a drink of water and decided that it was still fairly early. Or late. However one wanted to look at it. He still didn’t have a watch on him though it wasn’t as if he ever had to be somewhere at a particular time anyhow. His thoughts rambled on a bit about watches whether 2am was late or early until he finished getting his drink.

      He wiped his mouth and went back to the choir room; the circle of light from the weak flashlight guiding him back to the familiar place he had come to consider home. Granted the house with its magic basement were warmer and a bit more comfortable at times; but without Johnny it just wasn’t home. He walked down the hall slowly, not wanting to go back and sleep alone in his chair. Getting Johnny to sleep with him like that was probably a one-shot deal; a stolen moment from a past only he remembered. Edgar shook his head. He was pathetic. But maybe he was able to help Johnny get some decent sleep after all if only for a few hours.

      Edgar walked through the doors into the choir room to find that Johnny had beaten him there and was sort of anxiously waiting. Edgar wanted to ask him if the dreams had bothered him at all and if he felt any better; but instead he just stood there confused. Johnny looked down at his feet and avoided eye contact. It looked like he wanted to say something. A few gears moved in Edgar’s head and he thought he knew what his friend wanted. He walked over to Johnny and the chair.

      “You OK?” Edgar asked. “I mean if you want the beanbag chair instead of your regular one I mean, I’ll sleep somewhere else. I don’t have a problem with that.” If it made Johnny happy he’d be more than happy to take over his usual spot. It wasn’t the same as sleeping together but; if it made him happy…

      Johnny looked up and shook his head a little too quickly. “No! I don’t want the chair. I just-, I mean.” He reached a hand out and touched the back of Edgar’s hand shyly. “Can I?”

      Edgar nodded and prayed that Johnny couldn’t hear his heart thumping wildly in his chest. He sat back down in the beanbag chair and set his glasses on the desk behind him. Once he was settled in he reached out and took Johnny’s hand lightly, tugging his friend towards him. Johnny fell gratefully into Edgar’s open arms and moved around until he was comfortably seated Edgar’s lap again, his body flush with Edgar’s and his head resting on Edgar’s shoulder.

      “Jimmy’d flip out if he saw us like this.” murmured Johnny.

      Edgar snorted and his breath ruffled Johnny’s hair a little bit. “Don’t care.” He scoffed.

Johnny smiled and Edgar felt it against his skin. “You’re comfortable.”

      “Mmm.” Again Edgar prayed Johnny couldn’t feel his pulse racing or hear his heart pounding. God he didn’t want to mess this up…

      “I’m not hurting you, am I?” Johnny asked. He had almost said ‘again’, but stopped himself in time. That wasn’t me. I’m not him. I couldn’t do that to Edgar…

“Nnn.”

“You sure you don’t mind?”

      Edgar tightened his arms around Johnny in what was just subtle enough to make the smaller teen think (hopefully) that Edgar was just shifting his weight.

      “Go to sleep Nny. I like being like this. It’s comfortable. You’re comfortable. Now sleep.”

      Johnny picked the blanket off the floor and pulled it across them. “I think… this is OK. Like this. Those thoughts aren’t bothering me right now.” He began to mumble a bit. “I didn’t think this would help. Just –yawn- thought you wanted to do things like… things.”

      Edgar snorted again and kissed the top of Johnny’s head. “There. I did things. Now go back to sleep.” He wrapped his arms tighter around Johnny and hoped that he hadn’t gone too far. But Johnny only sighed and closed his eyes. Edgar shivered as Johnny’s lashes tickled his skin and he tried not to make any noise.

      “Knew it was coming anyways…” Johnny mumbled.

      Who ‘knew’ and about what exactly Edgar wouldn’t find out. Instead of asking Johnny about it he just let his friend drift off to sleep. Minutes later his breathing evened out as well and he was unconscious too.

      Jimmy never did catch them like this either. He was always just a little too late on those rare mornings when they accidentally slept in. And when he wasn’t, Devi was always early enough to intercept him.

      And for those nights when the voices and uncertainties didn’t reach Johnny’s mind, he was grateful.

      In fact sometimes he just couldn’t wait to get some sleep.